Monday, January 11, 2010
My name is Ohoud. I live in Riyadh,Saudi Arabia. I graduated in 2008 from Taiba university. Since that time I have been trying to improve myself at many levels menally,emotinally and socially. One of my goals is to speak English as a native speaker. First, to communicate with the global world around me. second, to gain the ability to read any kind of books I want. thirt, to be a shin reflector of good educated woman. finally,to be able to finish my education as soon as I can .
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Mr.Lee had corrected my mistakes :
ReplyDeleteMy name is Ohoud. I live in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia. I graduated in 2008 from Taiba University. Since that time I have been trying to improve myself at many levels-- mentally, emotionally and socially. One of my goals is to speak English as well as a native speaker for the following reasons: First, to communicate with the global world around me; second, to gain the ability to read any kind of books I want; third, to be an outstanding example of a shin reflector of good educated woman; and finally, to be able to finish my education as soon as I can.
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1. Punctuation: Always add a space after and no space before. Example: Aaa, bbb; ccc. Ddd, eee! Ffff, gggg?
2. Spellchecker: You had at least three misspelled words. Try spelling and grammar checker at http://www.spellchecker.net/spellcheck/ Also includes a thesaurus that suggests alternate words to add variety to your writing. Microsoft Word also has a spellchecker. With these tools, you should strive for perfect spelling in every exercise.
3. List within a sentence: Your four reasons (first, second, third, finally) are actually a list of four infinitive phrases acting as nouns. They are not complete sentences (no subject or verb) and so cannot stand alone as sentences.
So I converted them into items in a list within the previous sentence. To do this, the previous sentence must introduce the list with "the following reasons: ".
If items in the list contain commas ("First, to....), then semicolons are used to separate the items in the list.
4. Unclear: "shin reflector" has no meaning in English. I think you were trying to say that you want to be to be an outstanding example (or a role model) of a good educated woman that other women will want to emulate (they will want to be like you).
shin = front of the leg between knee and ankle.
shining = bright, excellent, stellar
reflector = plastic pieces on cars/roads that reflect light when light shines on them.